Khosiyat Rustam, Uzbekistan
Por: Khosiyat Rustam
Maybe You Remember... Or don't
Maybe you remember... or don't,
Maybe that moment is a dream for you, too.
That day,
our eyes couldn't speak,
And I still have no words to use.
Every morning turns white,
Every night comes quickly,
Every branch shamelessly issues leaves —
My thoughts are melancholy.
Every moment reminds me of spring,
Every moment I remember that fall.
When the years have made my hair snowy,
You will stay alone in my world!
Those days remain clear in my eyes
Did such bright days exist?
Did they?
Indeed! My eyes shed endless
Tears ready to turn into my poems.
Maybe... You remember... Or don't...
Maybe that day is a dream for you, too.
That day, our eyes couldn't speak —
I still live with words to use.
64.
When we went out into autumn's swells,
The leaves were falling, there was no other way.
You laughed at me with my blue bowl,
Where I carried a meal for you that day...
We've gone down many paths, passed many autumns,
Raising our heads from the hem of fate.
As if the whole universe watched only us,
As if it was seen two suns in place.
Superstitious, I'm unnerved
By eyes, if they're observing us...
I want to kill the world on purpose.
For me, you're still a child at most!
You tell me not to think bad thoughts,
As if there was so much you knew.
But I am still in fear, as though
I might risk losing you...
Autumn-7
And that morning dawned...unexpected day,
And that cursed word escaped my lips.
Why? Just because, especially today,
It's been raining all around me.
I don’t know who has taken me from myself,
I have wound up this way several times.
How can you be upset with me, when I...
I’m in this condition, I’m in this state.
I would leave this world, but I can’t,
Every night I have dreams.
It's as if I'm alone in this earth and sky,
With birds frowning at me...
Am I really alone in this world?
Even small roads slip away from my steps.
When I speak, my words don’t reach the sky,
It's been raining with my every breath...
* * *
What kind of dream was it? Do take me,
Show me that deserted place, show me, too.
Where is that place? Where is that island?
Where? Will Earth provide it to me and you?
Is there no space for us even in a dream?
Even in a dream does this life chase us?
Maybe in the sky that God wants for us,
Maybe there no one opposes us!
Does this life attack us wherever we are?
Do sharks and crocodiles lurk everywhere?
For the sake of the song of that life,
We'll light a lamp for the whole universe.
I'll get dressed... come quickly and take me,
We'll find it together, that open place.
And you'd better act quickly, please —
Let’s go into your dream right away.
Khosiyat Rustam Islamalievna was born in 1971, Uzbekistan. In 1993 she graduated from the Faculty of Journalism of Tashkent State University. In 2003 she studied at the Higher Literature Course at the Faculty of Uzbek Philology of the National University of Uzbekistan. In 2004 he was awarded with the Medal of Glory. In 2016, she wrote the screenplay Death Magic; based on the story Carpet. Since 2015, she has been the Editor-in-Chief of the most influential newspaper, Kitob Dunyosi (Book World). Member of the Writers; Union of Uzbekistan and Azerbaijan (2019). University of Iowa International Writers Program Resident (2021). Member of the Union of Journalists of Azerbaijan (2021). She was also awarded with the Rasul RIZO Prize, a prestigious award in Azerbaijan (2021).
Winner of the International Naji Naaman Prize of Poets of the World (2021). Winner of the Golden Knight award (2021). Her poems have been translated into more than 30 languages and her books have been published in several foreign countries. Her books published in Uzbekistan and abroad: In Uzbekistan: House in Heaven, Forgotten years, Wandering Shadows, Brown notebook; and many others. Abroad: Days without tomorrow, – Turkey (2006), Colorful Tears, – London (2020), Blow of the Wind, – Vietnam (2020), Stormy Wind, – Belarus (2021), Star in the palm of my hand – Ukraine (2021) and many others.
